When Mind Resonates

Me, yes, safe inside the walls of my home; True, I am spending quality time with family, Still, leaning on my couch,  My heart is heavy, I'm finding it difficult to breath, Tears stream down my cheeks… I want to be cheerful, and do want to spread smiley flowery vibes, I do try, recollecting best moments of life… But again I fall back into the same old emotional pit! The cries for life reverberating around the world… Tears of helplessness crushing minds… Unable I am to sleep. Awake in the middle of night, I scribble, I stroke from goodness of memories; Trying to sooth myself, but again I fall back; Find myself still tearful… The world, be safe… Silent prayers and good will from this insignificant being…

Memories, flood in, The moments, I thought were lost, By the overwhelming mishappenings, Has awakened, probably to tell me Who I was, and who I am, Erasing away, or may be tearing away, The disastrous chapters of life… There were coconut trees in the yard, It was a low-lying place, surrounded by paddy fields. Those were special and were my friends, They were petite, and had a bend- Making them shorter than what they actually were. I used to run up on its trunk, It was one of best pass time in summer. Sometimes I leaned back on them, Weaving my imaginations, and making plans, The mischievous ones, only I knew… The hiding place for sweet mangoes, Cheating card games, looking into brother's spectacles, Watching the ripples, throwing pebbles and even bricks… Yes, the bricks belonged to the yard walls. Hiding the bruised knee, falling, running behind the chickens… Walking to distances forbidden from home, To pick the fragrant ilanji flowe...

I wonder of the girth of love I carry for you, which is covered- With red-subtle handwoven silk, Treasured as the most beautiful of expressions… The love, that is effervescent in the crystal tumbler, Sweet as the nectar untouched, Still naive in the womb of the flower; Untouched, unblemished and most pristine… The gesture reflected in the eyes, Making it sparkle even in the darkness, And I remember looking at the lantern, With the flickering lights, And you reassured me of my being. I wonder, of remaining ignorant of oneself, If you never chose to be in. Let the crystal tumbler be overpoured And spilled...

Dilemma surface, the world being  Danced at the 'fingertip' of a self confused being; Which can not be called living nor as dead! And only when the moment of heightened Distress fall, that everything gets locked down… Until then everything is painted perfect by the hypocrites… Yes, I know, we may not die, it's just another flu, But the oldies are prone, and we- The 'healthy' ones carry it to them! And I find me as one among those… I know it's nothing to panic, But the moment I think of losing my parents, Dread creep in, I feel paralysed, I can't imagine being an orphan in this big world… My eyes welled up, and my throat did creek, And someone told: 'why the oldies should live, Let the babies survive!'

Sunday morning, when laziness creep in, And I lay on my couch, watching the flowing river; My memories unfold, bringing in the fragrance of childhood, I think it smells of ilanji flowers; Whose fragrance won't fade even if it dries off… Or does it get more fragrant on being old and dried, like the golden memories? And it, yes my memories, has bright red colour like the red beads, Which I regularly fetched from the dried ground of the paddy field, During those summers, as I mindlessly wandered… The adventurous expeditions to pluck  The wonderful lotuses, without being stung by the thorns, And not entangled and trapped in the lotus stems… Lying flat on the ground, under the cashew tree, Looking at the light sweeping in through the foliage… The mulberries plucked and stored in leafy bags, Giving red tinge to the tongue… Wondering when the cashew apple will fall, And run like a lightning to fetch the mango  When the thud falls in ears, before ...

Yes, I know we do see it differently, And I know we are born to be different, Still we get the waves of warmth from each other; Even though we do have varied perceptions... I just try to look through you; Yes, it's true at times I see your soul Deep within the depths of your eyes… I know you have seen mine too May be even more than what  I had ever intended to… No regrets, but ecstacy fill- Knowing that someone knows me in and out… The beauty what we hold is the trust, And truthfulness which binds us tight, And we just know what we are! Still, I strive to look through your eyes Its beautiful to perceive the world The way you see, and kiss the moment’s Forehead with glee… It's hard at times without you there… Sometimes that shadow too can bring Gloom to bloom…. The me in you  And the you in me Ten thousand times repeated chimes! Yes, we are different, But the same!

Midnight, awake, watching the ceiling, The reveries recollected, Being in the open field- Watching the stars afar… Lying on the grass blades, with whom- I shared my secret stories… Immersed in the beauty of the twinkling stars! I forgot, at that moment, Of the stars filling glee in me, Being still alive! Or had already vanished into oblivion? We sometimes enjoy the fruits of past- And at times the sources are no more…

Leaning on to you- Chewing grass blades mindlessly, Watching the clouds floating afar, Enjoying the cosiness and warmth from you, Me in half shut eyes, half asleep; Beneath this dull-lit sun, In this vast green valley, Forgetting everything else existing around; Bliss fills in, and life, I forget what it is! Just you and me… This is paradise, but nothing else..

And you are pouring again, Than onto the earth, you are pouring into me… How long was I awaiting you… Watching you is the finest of moments, And listening to you is most melodious, And the petrichor you fill, the wonderful fragrance ever … When I am already overwhelmed Unable to contain the consuming love- Awaiting, not knowing how to pour myself off! Though I do not want to be unburdened- Of the ecstatic emotion… I do feel jealous- When you heartily pour off… I wish to drench in you  That the love within and the love from you blend- And drain away with you… The love that's pure and divine… Oh! it's beautiful to be in this bountiful Presence of you, and to blend in you… I love you always, as ever and forever.