The hug

The baby had stopped moving,

It was almost four hours,

I was at the mid of my third trimester,

The journey was painful with pseudo-pains,

And extreme muscular pain all over…

Beginning with complications,

Followed by conserving medications…

And neglecting my pain, I was in kitchen that day,

And the baby was not moving,

The previous experiences of pseudo-pains,

And running to the hospital had bored my father,

He was reluctant for another drama,

Can not blame him.

I walked, drank hot water

Then cold, then sweet-

No, the baby was adamant…

Finally, my father gave in,

We went to hospital,

In labour room- still no movement,

And they induced me with pain,

I was afraid, though I recited what I saw on a wall;

'you are taken care of'

And the nurse said: 'the baby's heartbeat is going high'

I continued my recital;

The pain was surging,

The doctor said, we should go for-

An emergency C-section,

I agreed instantly, I remembered my dream,

Where I saw a girl child in ribbons

In a navy blue school uniform,

Everyone had told that it would be a boy,

'So much trouble and hard kicks are given by boys,

And look at the watermelon like tummy,

Definitely it's a boy…'

I just wanted a healthy baby,

A good citizen to grow up in this society…

And I was taken to the theatre,

Lights on, I said I'm asthmatic,

I was to be given the epidural,

I was asked to lie on my sides

With legs folded up to chest,

Looking like a baby in womb,

I was already in extreme pain

As I was induced for labour,

A male nurse, a young boy,

He told, it's alright, I will hold you,

He held me in place while the shot was given,

It was like a reassuring hug,

I felt secure, I realised, 

I never had felt this secure ever…

It was beyond my reading and understandings of emotions,

Beyond eros, philos or agapé...

It was an extremely emotional and Overwhelming moment for me,

I don't remember his face,

But I cherish that moment.

And I started shivering,

I was covered with a thick blanket,

I could feel the blade slicing my flesh,

The doctor continuously shouted,

Careful, she is asthmatic,

And I heard a cry,

The doctor showed the baby,

Pink, delicate, with tiny features,

My baby! Something that is of me...

'It's a girl' : she said.

I said: ah! I had tears streaming,

I couldn't say anything more,

I don't know the emotion of the moment-

Ecstacy or immense relief...

And the moment of reassuring hug,

Never to be forgotten!